a small peek into what's running through my head...

38729563210 random things you never knew about me and probably didn't even want to know, but i'm going to tell you anyway...

2009-01-31T06:23:00.001-08:00

is it just me or is it getting ridiculous with the "about me's" and posts people are making spilling out the most random and unheard of facts about themselves... to a people who honestly, probably don't even care. people are more than just willing, but almost desperate for the world to know that their favorite day of the week is tuesday, when they were seven they had a dog named sparky, they're mortally afraid of spiders, and that they have a secret obsession with twilight (which, ps... once you tell the whole world, it's not much of a secret anymore!) now, don't get me wrong, it can be cute...to a point... but i think this phenomenon is stemming from a deeper issue.

people ARE desperate... desperate to be known. they want to feel that there perhaps is at least SOMEBODY out there who cares that their favorite fruity scent is pineapple, goldfish kinda creep them out, their 7th last text message says LOL, and they can't get that special someone off their mind. they want to know that the details of their lives...the things that make them tick, make a person unique, won't be forgotten or overlooked.

as a girl, i get this. i mean, i smile to myself when somebody remembers that i absolutely love buddy's barbeque, my favorite flowers are daisies, and hearing a kenny chesney song on the radio makes my heart pound a little faster. its the fact that somebody cares enough to pay attention to these details that he (or she) took the time to remember. but i'm not looking for my entire friends list on facebook to remember that and or even care. the ones who know me enough to know these things without me spilling it out in a witty myspace survey already know those three things about me that everyone needs to know (ahem, SL yellow 08!) i would be seriously weirded out if someone i had never really met before in real life (facebook friends only) came up to me and said, "i know you're a black and white kind of girl, your favorite shirt is your red t shirt from the 8th grade, you love art, and your favorite 80's song is PYT by michael jackson..." SERIOUSLY. but that's what we expect isn't it? people we don't even honestly know to care enough about us to know us on a seriously intimate level. maybe its just getting to write these things down and putting them out there, but honestly, how selfish is that? if we are so consumed in ourselves that we honestly think everyone SHOULD remember that you prefer apples to oranges, you hate things that glow in the dark (for some odd reason), and your LEAST favorite color is green, then there are some real issues to attend to.

but this need to be known really concerns me. if so many people are desperate for someone to know the intimate details of their lives, shouldn't they look to the ONE who already knows all these things? the ONE who created all these quirks that make us unique. the ONE who, in all honesty, probably laughs to Himself about my obsession with barbeque, sweet tea, and country music. that's what we're looking for anyway, isn't it? someOne to know us inside and out and actually care about these flimsy details? and if you're one of those people who do post the "83293456 things you should know about me," i'll read it, but i can't guarantee that i'll remember every 83293456 detail. trust in the ONE who made you that way in the first place.

disclaimer: all the facts in this blog were made up. they in no way depict the real me. i DO have obsessions with barbeque, sweet tea, and country music...but you already knew that, didn't you?

first love

2009-01-21T07:11:00.000-08:00

let me just go on the record now saying how much i missed playing basketball...

ever since i can remember, my dad brought both me and my brother up playing the game that he coached for so many years. as a 4 year old, i would play outside with the boys after school, sit on the bench with my dad's team, and even help keep books from time to time (i'm pretty sure that's where i learned how to add....)

when i was old enough, i started playing in leagues and teams around the area...upward until i was old enough for school ball, and then AAU (a competitive traveling team) starting when i was 12. those were the "serious days" i'd have shooting practice before school, a two hour practice after school, then when i got home, i'd have another shooting practice with my dad out in the driveway. it was a year round thing with us: camps (team and individual) in the summer time, fall ball and school ball during autumn and winter, then as soon as school season was over, AAU season would start, carrying us through the spring and beginning of summer. seriously, at that age, if you asked me what i was going to do in college, it was "play ball for pat summitt at UT" and then "become the shortest girl ever in the WNBA"

but, as always, God had a different plan for me. the summer before my sophomore year of high school, i was playing for a great school team (practice in the summer too, folks), but was really conflicted in my heart because i knew the girls that i had grown up playing with were not the best examples for me to surround my life with. then came the week that i had to choose between going to beach camp with my student ministry and a team camp for basketball. i chose church camp, thinking surely my coaches would understand... well, long story short, i was benched for a whole week when i got back because i missed that camp. when i went and talked to my coaches they told me, basically, it was time for me to choose. (sounds familiar to anyone who's recently read matthew 6?) i couldn't do both: play the sport i love, or be active serving the God i loved even more...

so after praying about it, talking to my parents about it, and shedding more than my fair share of tears about it, i resigned from my position on the team...sure that i would never play again. not at the level that i thrived on. but i knew God had better things in store for my life. fast forward over 6 years and here i am, a senior in college, and i have finally came back to my "first love" oh, i played pick up games and even coached a group of 3rd and 4th grade girls for a couple of years, but it was never enough to lace up my shoes and really go all out on the court... until last night. i was asked to play on an intramural team this year, something i had avoided for the past three years due to business, and fear that i had really lost my touch. but it took just the first play to sink back into a rhythm that felt as natural as breathing... pushing my body, not like when i run, but totally letting myself go and being a part of a TEAM again... having 4 other girls on the court with me and functioning as a unit toward our ultimate goal.

confession: as soon as tip off, i exploded....it was like everything pent up in me just moved out of my feet and hands with unbelievable force. so, i played probably a bit too rough... i made some girls on the other team not so happy with me, but it was like something had snapped inside of me and i honestly couldn't help it.

so, the team's 1-0... and we have a good chance of going all the way this year. i'll keep you posted.

last semester!!!

2009-01-08T08:34:00.000-08:00

schedule:

monday:
9 am Anatomy II
11 am Exercise Physiology
12 pm teach math
3 pm Anatomy Lab

tuesday:
10:30 am exercise swimming
12 pm teach math
1:30 pm Faith and Freedom

wednesday:
9 am Anatomy II
11 am Exercise Physiology
1 pm Exercise Phys Lab
3 pm work at the Outlet

thursday:
10:30 am Exercise Swimming
12 pm teach math
1:30 pm Faith and Freedom

friday:
9 am Anatomy II
11 am Exercise Physiology
12 pm teach math
1 pm Senior Seminar

and then one day, i just felt like runnin' ~forrest gump

2009-01-03T11:38:00.001-08:00

running has always been my outlet, my escape. just like that new balance commercial (go look for it on youtube), me and running have had a love-hate relationship over the years and there was definitely a stretch in my life where i neglected the one thing that i needed in my life. i would still run, but it felt like a chore...go out and get in my two miles so i didn't feel like a total slob.
so recently, i have made an effort to restore the relationship i have had with the feeling of pounding out mile after mile until i can't think anymore. these distances have been the place where i can think, not talk, just be me for however long i need. so i went and ran six miles today... really ran too... no treadmills, no elliptical, no run/walk business... i just settled myself in for a long run and did it... boy do i feel better.
and i plan to never get to a point where i have been away from my friend for so long ever again.

2009

2009-01-02T10:50:00.000-08:00

can't believe it's already 2009...

where's the pause button??? somebody's got to be able to just make this crazy world slow down for a second...it's as if i'm afraid that if i blink again, i'm going to miss something big because we're just spinning too daggum fast, in my opinion.

now i know i'm the one who said new years was kinda hokey...a time where everybody makes these huge outlandish promises to themselves with no intentions of keeping...and i still believe that's true, BUT i do think it's a good time to pause and reflect about where the heck your life has gone in the past year. so here's my list:

favorite moments of 2008:
* sitting on the 13th row for george strait in concert
* hot tub conversations in gatlinburg in the freezing cold
* spring break 08 at coker creek: star-watching, riding horses, and sleepovers
* a certain dave barnes concert where my life took an interesting turn...
* sitting on the 18th row for KENNY CHESNEY in concert! (and getting lost on the way back)
* April 28, 2008
* my brother surprising me for my 21st birthday
* my best friend getting married
* working for Student Life YELLOW TEAM 08
* driving with droogs from chicago to colorado
* christmas in july
* moving into my first apartment
* running at 6 am at lake lure
* best day ever: running in knoxville, getting cleaned up and coming back for josh turner in concert!
* interviewing at belmont
* GETTING ACCEPTED AT BELMONT!
* spending time in nashville
* thanksgiving with EVERYBODY at my house
* daniel, val, and me learning to stand on our own feet...

i'm so excited to see what God has in store for 2009!

it's really happening

2008-10-06T13:55:00.001-07:00

why do we always get surprised when the things we plan for and dream about actually happen? i mean, i've dreamed for quite a while now about things such as graduating from college or getting accepted into physical therapy school. well, the first steps to these processes are starting to fall into place and they always catch me by surprise.

for instance, last week i got my invitation to interview at belmont physical therapy school in nashville. and i was completely overwhelmed, kept thinking, "this is really happening!" now all i have to do is fret and worry about saying the right thing, looking the right way, carrying myself in the right manner for 18 more days... haha, i'm not counting down or anything! but yes, i will go to nashville on october 24 to try and convince these scary admissions people that i'm really smart enough and cute enough to come to their school and that by God's grace i will be the best physical therapist ever!

nathan says i'm in, no problem, cause who would reject a girl as cute as me, but i think he's biased. i just have to remind myself not to psych myself out, as i am extremely capable of doing in nerve wracking situations such as these.

and seriously, i have a million hurdles to get over before i can even be nervous about oct. 24.... my next few weeks are chock full of tests, quizzes, presentations...about a million things school related, so who even has time to be nervous?

oh well, if there's one consolation its that i get to see my favorite country music star in concert on saturday night (not daniel wilson). nathan and i are spending the evening in maryville at the JOSH TURNER CONCERT!!!! i'm so stinkin excited! wahoo! definitely stay posted for details and pictures!

the best run ever

2008-09-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

trying to put into words what happened saturday morning is near impossible... but i'm going to try because i have to get it out there.

we were at the lake (lake lure, nc) and woke up before dawn to go run. me, sarah, j.r., and heskett drove to the beach at the lake to start our run there. it was chilly, enough for me to enjoy my running shorts, but still break out my under armor top.

after stretching we got together and prayed before we started. we decided not to talk so much during this one, but really try and spend the next moments with God and connect with Him. i think if any of us had a clue what was about to happen, we would have just gone and jumped in the lake right then.

we started off at a good 10 min/mile pace, with me leading the pack over the boardwalk, watching the fog lift and the sun coming up over the mountains. my breath literally caught in my throat (which is NOT a good thing when you're running) as i was completely astounded by God's beauty and goodness. we ran out of the tiny town of lake lure and on to the small village of chimney rock. when we hit chimney rock's town limits, we transitioned without so much a word into an indian run. i would start out at the front, then heskett would come from the back to take the lead and set the pace for a while, then sarah would move from the back to the front, then j.r... we moved like that the entire length of the town and back... not speaking so much, but completely feeding off each other's energy and just enjoying what i considered to be the truest fellowship i've ever had. when we once again reached the lake, we veered off onto a path through a small park that was possibly the most peaceful place i've ever witnessed. it was still quiet, still semi-dark...the only movement besides our rhythmic pounding were the ducks waking up in the marsh beside us. we ran this half mile in twos, but still close enough together to feel like one unit.

when we reached the boardwalk again, heskett encouraged us to leave completely everything behind and let any hinderances go that were weighing us down (see HEBREWS 12:1 for more). i honestly didn't think i had that much more to give, but i sprinted those last 100 yards and felt like i hadn't in a long time...i felt new, whole, pure...even though i was sweaty, gross, tired, and had a cramp settle in my calf muscle.

when we got done, JR stopped his watch and to all of our amazement, we had been gone for 45 minutes. we drove our route to check the milage and had completed FOUR AND A HALF MILES from start to finish. and i had never felt better. we talked on our way back about how each of us had experienced God throughout the run and were encouraged by each others' stories. i don't think i'll ever have a run like that ever again, and i'm scared that i'll lose that feeling i had on the beach, gasping for breath, but smiling at the communion i had just taken part in. it was a morning where i truly met with the Living God.

singin' my hallelujah song!

2008-09-23T14:44:00.000-07:00

currently sitting here in my best friend's backyard, enjoying the FALL weather, while he sits and picks his guitar. i'm sittin in the bed of tito's truck just killin time until night class. daniel says its a sin to not enjoy this amazing feeling, so here we are. doesn't get much better.

feels like home

2008-09-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

i think every weekend should be a three-day weekend. it's been great.
i got to spend a lot of time with nathan before he started traveling today. he's got eight weeks ahead of him recruiting for king college, traveling around the area for college fairs, so i won't get to see a lot of him in the coming weeks, so it was GREAT to spend that time with him this weekend :)
beka and i went to booms day last night and for some reason, both of us were still wired when we got home so we sat up and had one of our infamous late night beka-laura heart to hearts. once we had solved all the world's problems (at approximately 3 am) we finally went to bed & promptly slept in until noon today... which was fabulous considering i NEVER sleep past 10 or so.
today was a great day just to lounge around and chill out, enjoying the official last day of summer. this afternoon i went out with some friends and made a giant slip-n-slide on the front lawn of campus. it was so much fun :) pictures will be sure to follow of our crazy afternoon!
beka and i semi-cleaned up and headed over to mom & dad's for BARBEQUE NIGHT...WITH jim & nick's barbeque sauce... my favorite barbeque place down in birmingham. it was a great night just to spend with my family. just catching up on life and having a good heart to heart with my sister :) and my mom.
now we're back at our fabulous apartment and beka's cooking up a storm! it's weekends like this that get me through weeks that make me feel like i'm going crazy.

new favorite

2008-08-29T09:26:00.001-07:00

okay...so i played this for the first time last night and am TOTALLY hooked. (not to mention that i completely dominated last night ;)...) seriously, this is going on my christmas list!

we're famous!!!

2008-08-26T09:18:00.000-07:00

rainy day tuesday

2008-08-26T09:09:00.001-07:00

okay, so it's been raining non-stop for the past two days... and i'm just about to give up on finding my rain jacket and just enjoy walking in the rain.

quick update now that school has started:
ugh, school HAS begun and it's hit hard with full force this semester. the next fifteen weeks will be a doozy with a schedule that looks something like this:

art 8-10 (i never took my fine arts credit until now!)
project meetings with dr. boyce 10-11
kinesiology 11-12 (yes that's a real word)
kinesiology labs 1-3 (just on wednesdays)
directed readings 1-2 (just on fridays)
working at JMH PT clinic 2-5 (mondays and thursdays)

anatomy & physiology 10:30-12
A&P lab 3:30-5:30 (tuesdays)
ecological psychology 6:30-9:30 (ugh...night class...)

add to that the fact that i'm writing my honor's project this semester and still working at manley...

but the cool thing is that, for once, i'm not stressed about my schedule, like i usually am. i know God is in complete control of everything and i'll just have a survival celebration during Christmas break. i'm trying to stay balanced by running and having down time when i can....spending time with the roommate and boyfriend always help with that!

so, now that i'm dried off a bit, i'm gonna make a break for my car to grab some lunch and run errands before my lab this afternoon! lata!

i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop i love so much...

2008-08-22T13:20:00.001-07:00

one of my favorite songs that always makes me smile... "falling in love at a coffee shop" by landon pigg... its great...you'll probably recognize it from the jewelry commercials on tv, but seriously, it's great.
so in celebration of my buying this song from iTunes and the fact that it's friday, i thought i'd share some other things that make me smile:

* falling asleep for a good nap in my recliner or my hammock
* baking in my new kitchen with my roommate
* going to the lake with my dog
* late night dinners with my favorite rockstar
* "good morning" notes from my boyfriend!
* playing mario kart on the n64
* laughing with my high school girls on wednesday nights
* black and white pictures
* going to the county fair and riding all the scary rides til i throw up
* having a reason to get dressed up
* going to the farm to feed the baby cows
* when my favorite song comes on the radio, even though i can listen
to it anytime i want to on my iPod
* Josh Turner's voice...and the fact that i get to see him in october!
* the fact that my very first friend and i have one last class together at CN
* the fact that my boyfriend is 6'5" and i'm 5'3"...
* gummy bears, sweet tea, and barbeque
* the fact that frisbee & football seasons are just around the corner
* hearing songs from the Student Life "banana" soundtrack
* dancing around my apartment in my underoos singing at the top of my lungs :)

hope everyone has just as a fabulous friday as this little girl!

the beginning of the end...

2008-08-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

okay, so today it hit me just today for the first time that this is my last year at carson-newman. it's sad and scary on a few different levels.
sad because CN represents all the comfort of home to me. i mean, i've been at, around, or a part of the newman for as long as i can remember...always coming here to play some sport or another and always football games in the fall. when my big brother started here, it was so much fun to act like i was a college student and come hang out with him on the weekends. and my own 4 years there have been nothing short of amazing. its where i've met so many lifelong friends, where i've had so many adventures, decided on a future career, and become the young woman God has called me to be. its weird and slightly overwhelming that i'm entering the twilight of my time with everything i've ever known. and scary too.
scary because right now, i have 3 applications out for the next phase of my life--physical therapy school-- and the admissions people there are literally holding my future in their hands. they will be the ones determining where i'm going to be for the next 3 years after i graduate in MAY (!)...
it makes me want to take every precious second that i have and put in a bottle or somewhere special where i can hold on to them forever. every adventure, every warm saturday afternoon at the stadium..i just want to stop time and be able to cherish the memories...
anyways, enough sob stories from me.... happy last month of summer!

"remember that time..."

2008-07-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

last week of camp...

holy cow, i thought this week would never actually get here. but here we are, sitting at approximately 10,000 feet above sea level in the Colorado Rockies. and man, oh man, is it gorgeous. AND COLD! we tried to sit out tonight and watch for shooting stars, but i started shivering and got really cold. i think the official low was like 45, 50 degrees. but the stars were beautiful. i love being out in God's goodness. it completely overwhelms me sometimes when i look up and stare and think "wow. You did all that, for me. just for people like me to look up and say 'what an amazing God that he would create such a great canvas of artwork for me.'" it's funny cause i definitely wouldn't mind sittin' out here on the roof for the next five days, but we still have to do CAMP. there are 800 more kids for me to keep tellin' about Jesus and one more week to keep them from dying on the rec fields.

its weird that my summer is coming to an end. may 25 in talledega, alabama seems like a lifetime ago. i really do now have a 25-member family. people that are a little crazy but i love with all my heart and can't believe that after friday, there will never be a time when all 25 of us are together in the same place ever again. it's like God has thrown us all together in this moment, in this time, to learn from each other what it means to fall in love with Jesus.

the end of camp brings on a mixture of emotions. i really am sad to be leaving, but have never been more ready to get back home. it's funny, cause on may 24, i couldn't WAIT to get out of the little town that i've lived in for the past 21 years. but i am very thankful for my home now, and all those who are waiting... patiently (and not so patiently)... for me to come back home. i miss my parents, my family, my kids at manley, my roommate, AND MY DOG. i miss waking up to miley dog every morning and can't wait to fight for my place in the bed with her again. :D

going home has its own mixed feelings in return... i feel like i've taken a time out from life for the past three months and it'll be not so easy getting thrust back into the real world. back to the ginormous paper that i've put off all summer, back to school and attempting to get accepted into PT school, back to dealing with my family and my granddad's cancer. back to taking care of people instead of being the one being taken care of. but i feel that i've grown a lot this summer and God's at my side now (or i've finally drawn back to His) and He's prepared me to take on my world again. i have a new sense of purpose, of vigor, of self-discipline. hopefully, that will help with every trial i have waiting on me back home.

well, we're all snuggling up in front of our fireplace (seriously, we need one, it's so cold) watching a movie in our AMAZING cabin. for those of you reading...i'll be home in 5 days. can't wait to see you!

WHAT. A. DAY.

2008-07-14T19:48:00.000-07:00

so let me preface what i am about to say with a quick look at how my day went:

woke up late, didn't get to go run...
at staff meeting this morning found out that:
a. the sound board was frozen
b. the genies that lift up our front lights were both broken
c. our camp pastor's flight had been delayed

kasey and i went to do our pre-registration duties with bo and listened as he tried to rent us a soundboard, they didn't have any like ours.
found out that about half of our signs that we usually put out went missing
found out that camp pastor's flight had been delayed again, as well as our supervisor's flight.
registration, kasey and i got the cops called on us as we tried to park and greet about 57 churches all with multiple vans and youth ministers.
found out that the truck that was delivering the rented soundboard had a flat tire
found out that camp pastor's flight had been delayed for a third time and would not make it to celebration
found out that supervisor's flight had been cancelled and he couldn't come til wednesday.
kasey and i again had the cops come by and reprimand us for blocking the public bus stop (this was because we had moved to where he had told us to go...go figure.)
survive the rest of registration and when we go back to pick up all the signs we put out, found out that two of them had been stolen during the day...

needless to say, we were quite happy to skip dinner and just head back to the apartments for some peace. i tried to gear myself up for worship as best i could and headed in just completely exhausted. then dr. robert smith just totally rocked my socks off...well, i guess God did more through him, but he is seriously one of the better communicators i've heard, and definitely the best i've heard all summer. and so God and me had a little heart to heart last night, and through the message, this is what He revealed to me:

The heroes of our faith (those names you learn early in Sunday School: Abraham, David, those guys) were all obviously used in a big way by God. And i think that the cool part is, these guys didn't know they were going to be heroes. The were just being obedient and taking the next step of faith. But when God called them to step up to the plate, it wasn't their first time hearing from God. They had already become familiar with God's voice. The Bible...well, David, addresses this in 1 Samuel, right before he went and killed Goliath. David had prepared himself in the quietness of the fields for battle in front of his entire nation.

okay, enough deep thoughts for one night... that's just enough to chew on. staff devos start early tomorrow! night world!

using my phone for this one, so bear with me

2008-06-30T15:53:00.000-07:00

Officially set a student life record today! Most students ever to have in rec at the same time! We have 2400 students at camp this week and almost 1800 of those kids are participating in rec this week... It was a little crazy, a little scary at points, but all amazing!

Dave nasser and steve fee are speaking/ leading worship this week and its pretty cool.

More later; peace!

"you know the cockroaches from MIB? i think they live in my toilet..."

2008-06-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

good morning from rustin, louisiana! yep, this officially marks the halfway point of my summer...the jury's still out as to whether that's a good or bad thing. but, we're in a new place, out of talladega, so i'm excited to see what's going to happen. here at LA tech, we're going to have our biggest camps yet. 1500 & 2400 students if you're keeping up with numbers... still don't know how i'm going to do rec with a squad of almost 300, but we'll figure something out, i'm sure. i mean, i'm no rookie anymore!

last week was a great week at camp. wade morris was our speaker, and it was so so so good to see a familiar face. wade and i go way back and it was great getting to catch up with him and just have a sense of grounding, knowing someone OUTSIDE of CAMP. there was a church from knoxville there last week too, so i felt like i had a little piece of home there with me. :) also, i found out that i'm going to get to see my brother & sister in law while i'm in toccoa falls, which will be AWESOME. i had a bit of homesickness the other morning, but i'm pushing on, knowing that God is guiding me through this summer and He has bigger plans for me.

i'm getting some crazy tan lines this summer...i wish i had my camera cord so i could upload a picture of my chaco tan (it's pretty sweet if i do say so myself), but i also have a pretty nasty farmer's tan and i've brought a whole new meaning to the word "redneck." but, that's what camp is all about i guess, and what would you expect from a girl who spends 6-7 hours everyday outside? :)

yesterday we loaded out and had our first travel day on the road as a team. i drove for about 4 hours of the way to rustin, and had never been more excited to find an exit with a starbucks in my life. we finally got to our apartments (yes, i have my very own space for two whole weeks) around 1:30 this morning, and...bum ba bum...GOT TO SLEEP IN AS LATE AS WE WANTED!!! it was the most amazing feeling in the world when i woke up around 8, looked at my watch, then promptly rolled over and fell back asleep for a couple more hours. today we have a complete day off...no work AT ALL. we're even saving load-in for tomorrow. so i'm enjoying my Sabbath by just chillin out as much as possible.

campers get here monday, so look for a post about my crazy packed next two weeks! lata!

3 camps, 12 days...you do the math...

2008-06-08T19:02:00.000-07:00

greetings from beautiful, aka HOT talladega, alabama!

yup, we're still here, still pluggin away. today marked the end of our second camp...700 crazy middle schoolers runnin around. funny thing is, i feel right at home...maybe its because i still have the mentality of a 12 year old on most days. one thing i do love about crazy middle schoolers is that if you give them an idea and act excited about it, they'll run away with it. all i had to do was pump them up about being part of the yellow swarm and by today (last day of camp) they were all decked out head to toe in yellow, most with face paint, bandanas, cheerin their little hearts out. i felt like a proud momma/rockstar/worn out rec leader all rolled into one.

i've been battling homesickness a lot this week. i talked to my momma for about 30 minutes and started boo-hooin in the middle of wal mart today. most days i'm busy enough to not think about it, but honestly, i miss home. i miss my kids at manley and i HATE missing out on what God is doing in their lives. i got a two page letter from one of my girls trying to give me every detail about camp and once again, i was having a boo-hoo, snot-slinging moment in the middle of the office. i hear how God is moving back home and it breaks my heart that i'm missing out on this phase of their lives. i mean, i know God has me here for a reason and i know that i'm supposed to be (and i am, trust me) learning how to stand on my own two feet out here in this big ole world, but i am also learning how much i love my home and my babies (sorry guys, but ya'll are) at manley.

the next two weeks are going to be ca-razy busy here in shocco springs. we have a group of 1325 students arriving in the morning for a 5 day camp... don't know what we're gonna do with all those kids, but they've gotta go somewhere. after that, we have a 2 hour turn around (our first)...we say good bye to the current campers at 10, the next buses start pulling in at noon...that camp is just a 4 day-er, but once again, after that, there's another 2-hour turnaround for a 5 day camp... and that's the rest of our time in talladega! then we hit the road, so i feel like (and hope) the rest of the summer will fly by...)

i do love my teammates and am beginning to think of them as family. they've been great in lifting me up in prayer and encouraging me, as well as the whole team... it's just days like these, when i have some down time, that i really start to miss home. so say a little prayer for me that i'll make it to august 1! love ya'll & good night!

1 down 10 to go!

2008-06-04T17:41:00.000-07:00

first week of camp is officially over. and boy, what a week it was...

i was up every morning at the rec fields by 6:30 am to start setting up for the day,
staff devotionals followed by morning celebration, where the yellow team competed for the spirit stick every morning (we won on tuesday, GO SWARM) morning rec, lunch, and then afternoon rec with my own squad...they were so precious! FTO (free time options...everything is abbreviated) were led in the afternoon...me and my girl whitney dominated in some soccer and i just tore up the frisbee field...definitely hurt some little high school boy egos :) evening worship, where i handle all the student staffers backstage and make sure no one goes crazy. then late night, and finally bed... except for the last night of camp, where i'm on the coveted 4th night patrol...but i can't talk about it. ;)

week two is entirely middle schoolers, so i'll definitely keep you updated. much love!

dear mom, camp is rough...

2008-05-31T16:36:00.001-07:00

haha, just kidding!!! but do you remember that campbell's soup commercial???

seriously, camp is great. i love my new family and enjoy the time i get to spend with the rest of the rec staff. we had our first day with campers today and it was slightly above the level of organized chaos, but it was still so amazingly fun!!! we're here at shocco springs (in lovely talladega, alabama) for the next month, so if you want to send me a care package (hint hint) you know where i'm at!

love you guys so much!!!! sorry this one is so short, but i'll holler again as soon as i can!

peace!

WHAT A WEEKEND!

2008-05-18T20:05:00.000-07:00

holy mud, i feel like i've been running at a million miles an hour all weekend.

thursday was my 21st birthday (!) and it was an amazingly perfect day! went and got my grown-up, big-girl license, had lunch at buddy's with michael, and got dressed up for dinner with my family and bestests. i was kinda bummed because once again, my brother was missing my bday, and i really really missed him. BUT when we pulled up to the restaurant, my big brother was standing there!!! he had driven all the way from atlanta to be there and it made me smile a whole whole lot. even better, he came home for two whole days!

friday was mostly a day devoted to one of my dearest and oldest friends who was getting MARRIED!!! we had a luncheon for all the bridesmaids that morning, quick trip to knoxville to pick up a dress that afternoon, and rehearsal dinner friday night. it was super fancy; my first time eating at club leconte! good thing i had michael (who is now home!!!!) to make sure i wasn't making too much of a fool of myself being all fancy :) friday night i came home and had some quality time with my brother!!! fell asleep with him on the couch, one of my favorite places in the entire world.

saturday woke up RIDICULOUSLY early and spent the entire day with my beautiful princess bride best friend. Her wedding was amazingly beautiful and perfect. i'm not going to lie, i cried a little, just because i was so proud of my sister and the great Godly guy i now have as as brother. the reception was fun & i even caught the bouquet (which means not a thing, i promise).

sunday we went to my granddad's church where he was being honored for his amazing ministry. i cried (again...why so much emotion this week???) at how much he was loved and honored and how many people whose lives he impacted. i only hope i can be a little bit like that too.
after an amazing down home, country church potluck lunch, i drove to bristol to spend some time with a pretty cool guy i know. more details on that much much later. but i had a great time just having a relaxing sunday afternoon.

i leave for camp in 6 days and i'm really really nervous, but also really, really EXCITED!!! there's so much to do before i leave and so many people i want to spend time with before i go. well, this little girl has jabbered on long enough. good night, world!

i love my mommy

2008-05-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

what a day. my heart has seriously been on a major roller coaster ride. i got a call earlier this evening that one of my high school girl's mom passed away this afternoon. it broke my heart because my girl is two weeks away from graduating from high school and needs a momma now more than ever. and her little sister...about to embark on the terrors of middle school without someone to love and guide her, give her advice about boys, and argue with about clothes.

it made me stop and realize how much i cherish my own momma. seriously, over the past couple of years, she has become more than my mother, but a true friend. i really don't know how i would function in life without her there to be my biggest fan and strongest prayer warrior. granted, there have been times when we've been at each others' throats, but that's just because we're practically the same person and tend to have battles of the will sometimes. i know that my mom loves me more than life itself and loves me with the deepest, unconditinal love that only moms can have for their children. and as her daughter, i am completely honored.

so, in honor of mother's day, and in honor of mrs. kim and the amazing, wonderful life that she led, let your own momma know just how amazing she is...

good morning!

2008-05-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

okay, so i am so so so excited about today! my best friend is MOVING HOME!!! i haven't seen jordyn since AUGUST and she's coming to stay at my house for the whole summer!!! (i know, i'll only be here for the next 18 days, but whatev.) so in honor of jordyn's return, here are my thoughts on my amazing best friend.

you now those people who just know you deep down? the people that you don't even really have to use words to communicate anymore because you're connected at the heart? that's the way me and jordyn are. she knows me better than anyone else on this planet, probably a little better than i know myself.

jordyn was an answer to a prayer in my life. when i was in middle school i prayed to God for a "Christian best friend" someone that i could share my walk with God with and have tons of adventures together. my eighth grade year, jordyn moved here from florida so her dad could be the new youth pastor at our church. it was funny cause her mom actually called me and asked me to hang out with jordyn cause she was new...yada yada...well, we ended up going shopping in knoxville or something, but the rest is history!

even though there's a two year difference, i've never felt a closer bond. she really is like my sister and i consider her family my family too. when i turned 16 i started driving us to school every morning and the summer before my senior year we went on a mission trip to mexico that forever changed both of us. that christmas she moved to bristol (about an hour away, if you hurry) and it was neat because i think that just made our friendship stronger. nothing changed, except i just spent a million dollars that spring driving to bristol every weekend and a million more hours on I81 between our towns.

jordyn is the one i call when my world gets turned upside down or if i need someone to tell me that i'm right, they're wrong, and the rest of the world just sucks. :) she knows when i need her too. like last week, i was driving, venting some frustration and she called out of the clear blue and first thing she asked was "are you okay? i just felt like i needed to call you and tell you everything is going to be okay." she takes care of me and would do absolutely anything in the world for me. AND SHE'S COMING HOME TODAY! i love my sister so much and CAN'T WAIT to see her!

two barefeet on the dashboard...

2008-05-07T19:43:00.001-07:00

1st day of summer vacation! wahoo! here's a quick recap:

woke up early... no sleeping in for this little girl! i want to savor every second of my summer.

surprised the boys this morning with breakfast from hardees...they're such boys...all there was to eat in the house was left over chicken somebody's mom had sent home and sugar cookies from wal mart from our cookout sunday night. bless their hearts, i think my maternal instincts went into overdrive for a second!

worked online a little this morning for daniel's show on friday (my little rockstar is gonna be on the radio!) and then had him help me take my car to the shop... i was driving home with the windows rolled down last night and my window decided it didn't want to roll back up anymore... we ran a bunch of errands around morristown. i bought an AMAZING BOOK today. "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan (i think that's his name) i've only read the introduction, but holy mud, it's going to be a great one. highly recommend it.

we went into work and had BUDDY'S for lunch (my favorite!). my buddy huggy bear came down from johnson city today to hang out and help us out some with sound. what a blast to get to see him!

church tonight was such a blessing. it really felt like the kids connected tonight, which is my prayer every week, so PRAYER ANSWERED! (even if it was a small one) my cousin and i had the sweetest moment where we prayed for my grandfather who is battling cancer. he has one of the biggest hearts i've ever witnessed. we took about a million kids to the local pizza place after church, which was so much fun. jake and i danced to michael jackson's PYT in the middle of the restaurant and ella (the cutest 2 year old ever) got her first temporary tattoo (mickey mouse on her tummy)

17 DAYS TIL I LEAVE FOR CAMP!!!

i didn't think this day would come...

2008-05-06T15:32:00.000-07:00

but i made it! summer 08 begins tonight!!! last night/yesterday i studied for my genetics final from about 1 pm-2 am...woke up and finished studying at 6 am... took my final and ran for the door as fast as i could! so, i guess i should throw out some updates now that i have a chance to breathe:

1. we ended up losing both the soccer and frisbee championships...kinda a let down, but they were both well played games, so we'll just have to try harder next year i guess...

2. my laptop crashed at the beginning of last week (good timing, i know...) so i'm saving and searching and praying for a macbook. right now i'm using mom & dad's desktop... but i miss my music and pictures...and they're gone forever... :(

3. i did run away two weekends ago to see KENNY CHESNEY IN CONCERT. probably one of my favorite weekends that i can recall. here are some highlights:
* got to columbia by 3, enough to wander around and see everybody at the "party in the parking lot" seriously put any college game day tailgating to shame.
* our seats were just stupid close. we even had to have wristbands just to get to them!
* gary allen sang the airplane song first thing :D one of my favorites.
* the rain held off...didn't get wet at all
* the two ladies sitting next to us were from Morristown...even though i bought my tickets off of eBay from a guy in Utah...
* the two ladies sitting next to us thought me and daniel made the cutest young married couple ever...except we're definitely not married. gave us a good laugh, though!
* brooks & dunn were just simply amazing. i want to learn to play the harmonica now...
* kenny chesney broke 3 bones in his foot trying to enter the stage... it got caught between the elevator that lifted him up and the stage floor. but he finished the song and the entire show, limping around... if he needs a physical therapist, i can think of a good one...
* i got goosebumps when he sang my favorite. it was, in a word, amazing.
* we left columbia around midnight, got turned around in traffic and ended up at a waffle house about 3 hours away from myrtle beach at 2 in the morning. finally got back to greenville around 4:30 that morning. at that point we were delerious from lack of sleep and hoarse from singing every george strait song we could at the top of our lungs with the windows down, sunroof open, trying to stay awake...
* drove back in the rain sunday afternoon, gorging on reese's pieces, gummy bears and bits o' honey (that was definitely daniel) and really not wanting to go back home...

4. i got to be a model on sunday for a hot tub show for MasterSpas in knoxville. basically i swam in the endless swimmer for 5 hours while people watched. now i know how the dolphins at seaworld feel...

5. i made it through finals and a super hard week, and now i'm so ready for SUMMER 08! jordyn gets here on thursday, we're moving furniture into our apartment on saturday, MY TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY IS IN 9 DAYS (next thursday), and i leave for camp in 18 days... whew...here we go!!!

study break

2008-05-05T20:55:00.001-07:00

i've never seen me summed up in so few words:

"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no - I want magenta!"" - John Mayer

the word excited is the hugest understatement in the entire world...

2008-04-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

whew, i made it through my crazy week!!!
*WON SOCCER 4-2, i had two shots on goal, thank you very much

*WON FRISBEE 11-2, had one snag that rocked my world. only thing i know is that the next thing i knew, i was on the ground, jackie was on top of me on one side, hannah on the other, my head was spinning, but I HAD THE FRISBEE

*took miley to the game on tuesday. she's such a superstar. she did so great, we stopped at sonic on the way home and she got her very own ice cream cone. if she hadn't eaten the cord that connects my camera, i have a really sweet picture of her trying to eat it :)

*my last day at the clinic was kinda sad, i really enjoyed working there. but i get to come back in the fall to work on my honors project.

and to top it all off, i'm leaving tomorrow for south carolina to see my all time, absolute very favorite country music rockstar (not daniel wilson, ladies) KENNY CHESNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! best birthday present ever and i CANNOT WAIT!!!

highlights and pictures will soon follow, i'm sure. night ya'll!

and so it begins...but on the right note!

2008-04-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

so this weekend marks the beginning of what could be considered the busiest two weeks of my life.

friday i worked the morning shift at the PT clinic and...bum ba bum...i had my VERY OWN, VERY FIRST PATIENT!!! mrs. barbara was so sweet and so patient with me, but it was so exciting! i am totally falling in love with my future career and canNOT wait to do this for a living!

friday night i drove to johnson city for some quality val-laura time. had choice seats for andy davis (!) and dave barnes. ended up also getting to spend some time with three of my high school girls, something i'm really going to miss this summer.

this weekend i celebrated with one of my closest friends her wedding with a wild and crazy BACHELORETTE PARTY. it still hits me like a brick wall when i think that one of my longest and bestest friends is GETTING MARRIED. i mean, just yesterday we were dressing up and performing hit broadway songs in her living room and now we're growing up, dressing up FOR REAL, eating fancy dinners, (but still singing hit broadway songs, but in the safety of our cars)

got back today in time for church, and especially crosstrainers, which has become one of my favorite hours of the week. these kids are continually amazing me with their earnest hearts to know God more. take my cousin jake, for example...he's one of the craziest, goofiest kids i know, but he absolutely loves Jesus and truly loves sharing his faith at his middle school. it makes me want to be more like him, honestly not caring what others thought of me and being confident enough in who my God is to talk to others about Him...definitely something i plan on doing more often.

got to have dinner tonight and catch up with best friend daniel. i love our heart to hearts and quality time. its fun because we don't have to worry about putting on a face or what the other one might think of the other. i'm glad to have him as a brother who really cares about me.

and at Bible study tonight, God really showed up. i love having real time with no pretenses talking about what God is doing in our lives and encouraging each other in our faith. really gave me hope for the coming weeks ahead, which are going to be crazy:

MONDAY: 6 am run, 9 am chiropractor, 11 am workouts, 12-5 last day of work at the clinic, 6 pm soccer game, after that, check on band practice and finish psychology project and read for genetics

TUESDAY: 6 am run, 9:30 defend prospectus, 10:30-3 class, frisbee game later that day...

WEDNESDAY: 6 am run, 9 am chiropractor, 11 am workouts, 1 last genetics lab (!), 3-8 church & soul'd out, 8 pm film spanish project, read for genetics...

THURSDAY: 6 am run, 9:30 chapel, 10:30-1 class, 1:30 psych conference, PACK FOR SOUTH CAROLINA

FRIDAY: 1 pm, LEAVE FOR SOUTH CAROLINA!!!!

SATURDAY: 4 pm, KENNY CHESNEY, LIVE IN CONCERT, YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha, wow, my week sounds crazy, but it helps if i write it down, and it might give yall an idea of how to pray for me this week...oh, and the weekend coming up makes the crazy crazy week totally worth it!!!!

wake up call

2008-04-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

wow, this has been a day for wake up calls. i've had a few, so let's just go in chronological order:

1.) this morning pastor emmert rocked my world with a point he made. his sermon was on a heart of sacrifice and he said this: how dare we consider anything we "give up for God" a sacrifice? i mean, it's all His anyways, so why would we even think that anything we give to God a huge deal on our parts??? and then later in his sermon, pastor said that when you truly love someone, giving something up for them is not a sacrifice at all. Christ dying on the cross wasn't necessarily a sacrifice. He did it willingly and gladly because He loved me, this whole world, that much. oh that i would be able to love my God back like that.

2.) later tonight at cross-trainers one of my high school girls just rocked the house. she told the group about how she was walking down the hall of her school, talking to God and just decided that she was over the whole trying to be a 'cool' Christian thing. about worrying about her reputation if she actually talked to one of her classmates about Jesus. she resolved in her heart that she was going to witness to her friends, no matter who said what about her. totally cool coming from a high school sophomore.

3.) right before bed tonight, i was on the phone with my best friend and had yet another reality check. she reminded me, in not so many words, that i tend to emotionally give my heart away to too many people, specifically those of the male persuasion. just reminded me that i needed to guard my heart so fiercely that whoever wants it is gonna have to fight for it and prove himself worthy. i AM a princess after all :) to sum up this last point, i'm going to borrow some words from carrie underwood: "the more boys i meet, the more i love my dog!" (haha, great song, and i know, kinda random, but i LOVE IT!)

wow, that's a lot to chew on, but i think it helped writing it out. so, there ya go, world!

i thought it was funny

2008-04-11T20:03:00.001-07:00

found this on youtube...it's pretty funny...reminded me of the campus wide assassin game we played last year...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNuRQmvykwk

if you need a smile today, go check it out!

holy moly

2008-04-08T21:05:00.000-07:00

a run down on my day yesterday:

9 AM chiropractor

10 AM morning workouts

11-3 work at PT office

4 PM soccer game (tied 2-2, but i scored!!!)

(in the 20 minute break i had, i kept score for the softball game and helped set up the sound system for band practice via cell phone.)

5:30 PM frisbee game

7 PM frisbee game goes into overtime

7:30 PM final score, 16-14...we came back from a 10-5 deficit to win!

8 PM fix dinner

9 PM start homework

12 PM finish homework and hit the hay. what an amazing, yet tiring day...

records: Victorious Secret (girls' soccer team) 2-1
Airborne (co-ed frisbee team) 1-0

you are the music in me...

2008-04-06T11:21:00.000-07:00

:D i really like that song, and so what if it's from HSM 2??? it's one of those that i like to really belt it out when i'm riding alone in my car... but anyways, i had an inspirational moment the other night and i decided to try to capture all those thoughts into coherent words, so here goes...

i have realized of late that music has become quite a substantial part of my life. i mean, duh, i'm a product of my generation, so of course, i'm going to be slightly obsessed with music, but no seriously, it's a big part of my life. over the past few years i've become a GIANT fan of country music...i mean, 3 out of my 6 presets in my car are country stations; i watch CMT and GAC religiously; am a member on CMT.com; and spend ridiculous amounts of money to see my favorite stars in person (in the past 6 months i've been to see keith urban, george strait, brad paisley, and about to go see kenny chesney...). i seriously love it and think it is a passion of mine. and i think it's kinda funny because the extent of my musical ability is to play the kazoo and keep up when we're playing rock band... go figure.

but i was sitting the other night listening to my friends "jam" on their various instruments and i was just totally amazed at the gift God has given the world in music. my mind went back all the way to the first guy who thought "hey, if i stretch this string really tight and hit it, it makes a cool noise...and what if i put it together with this hollow box that i beat on...that makes a fun noise too..." and seeing how they all come together to make such beautiful sounds just utterly amazes me sometimes. because i try to imagine a world where music isn't there and it's impossible for my mind. music is a huge part of our world. it can influence our moods, our thoughts, inspire actions, whether their happy or sad. i mean, i've been in a situation before when i've had a totally crummy day and heard my favorite song and i cannot help but smile and feel my spirits lift.
music is also a huge part of how i talk to my God. there have been so many times when i've been praying and talking to God and my heart just picks up in the middle of a praise song. i'm so thankful for those who can put into words better than i can how i feel sometimes.

and to see people who have such a passion to play these instruments just totally blows me away. take one of my best friends for example. i was talking to his dad as he was playing the other night and he was telling me that when he was only 5 years old, his parents gave him a play drum set and he sat down that christmas morning and started beating out rhythms...which blows this little white girl's mind [i really have to work to have rhythm ;)]. and when he plays his guitar, you can just tell that he is in his element. its like that guitar is just an extension of his arms and hands, it's the most natural part of him. and he is doing what God has created him and blessed him to do, using his talents to glorify his Creator. and that's how i know he's gonna make it as a songwriter or recording artist, because i see how he is when he sings or performs, or the look on his face when he gets an idea for a song. his passion is real and he's got the determination to see his dream through.

i think if i could develop that kind of passion for the work that God has called me to do-- if i could look forward to going to the physical therapy office the same way i see my friends love their music, then my life will be one amazing ride. so challenge time: find your passion and follow it 100%. do the things you love and do them well. use your gifts that God has given you. if it's singing, then by gosh, sing. if it's dancing, then you better dance like there's no tomorrow dang it. or if its writing, preaching, racing nascar, knitting, flying airplanes, running, loving on kids, loving on old people, cooking, cleaning, talking, making movies, working on computers, training animals, or balancing spoons on your nose, then DO IT! find that one thing that when you do it, you feel like you're being your most...you. that one thing that if you had to describe yourself with ONE THING, that would be it. and then do everything you can to be the BEST at your passion. develop your talents and dreams.

wow, listen to me preach. guess i better get off here before i get too far gone. later days!

i'm just sittin' out here watching airplanes...

2008-04-02T20:30:00.000-07:00

okay, so i'm not really sittin' on the hood of my car, lookin' up at a caramel colored sunset sky, but that song is still in my top 5 (gary allan, go check it out) and it fits my mood right now, so just indulge me a little...

today was just one of those days where everything kept making me smile. woke up and had some quality time with miley dog. went and worked out, FINISHED MY PROSPECTUS!!!
**just for the record, that was hanging huge over my head, but it's done, it was great, it's turned in, and i don't have to worry about it for a looooong while**

to continue my good day:
* got out of genetics lab early
* the weather was warm enough for a t-shirt and chacos
* spent some time at the smith farm with the animals YAY!
if you know me at all...me + the farm + the animals = me being my best me
* had the first "all intern, without brian, led wednesday night SOUL'D OUT and it went amazingly well!!! daniel did an amazing job communicating what was on his heart to our students. and they really got what he was saying. we had an awesome prayer time at the end. i love hearing my students pray. it blesses my socks off every time. they are developing such hearts for their lost friends and i can't wait to see what God has in store for them.
* surprise visit from joe! i really love that guy. he's always so encouraging and makes me laugh a lot! made me realize i need to go spend time with my second family before i leave for the summer
* got to talk to alan tonight about spending summer 09 in south africa... this seriously could happen and it would be an absolute DREAM COME TRUE! i'm stll praying about it, but God keeps opening doors and i'm still walking through them til He says stop!
* had late dinner with joe, pastor emmert, whit-dog, and daniel at SMOKEYS...mmm... we talked and laughed and closed the place down catching up.
* went to go check on the animals again with daniel. got to talk country music stuff and encourage one of my best friends.
*got a phone call from maddie and now have a "date" for spring formal...with all my girls!

it's days like these that make up for the not so great ones. i wish i could just bottle it up and bring it out when i need a little sunshine in my life. i know the next 2 months are going to be crazy busy, but i just try to savor days like today.

cowgirls...

2008-03-29T10:26:00.000-07:00

just an update:

1. i worked for 8 hours yesterday at the PT clinic. LOVED IT. i really am excited that this is what i get to do with the rest of my life. i love talking to all the old people and hearing their stories. i had a conversation with a lady who was down in her back about sweet tea...made my day.

2. helped out at the Luke 14 banquet last night. every year our church puts on a night just for the mentally and physically handicapped people in our community. it was an amazing turn out. this year was county fair themed, which means i got to wear my boots and hat, which always makes me smile. my job was to get people dancing and having a good time. i loved dancing with some of the most precious men and boys that God has blessed in a unique way. they still look at the world through the eyes of a child and i love their carefree attitudes. if they felt like jumping up and spinning around in circles...or spinning me around in circles, they did. totally blessed my night.

3. may is getting close...which means camp is getting close. mixture of nervousness and excitement. still don't know where i'm going to be placed.

4. 27 DAYS TIL THE KENNY CHESNEY CONCERT! best birthday present ever. daniel and i will be on the 18th ROW to see brooks & dunn, leann rymes, gary allen, and KENNY CHESNEY. plus i get to spend the weekend in south carolina and hang out with daniel's family. totally stoked.

leaving to go adventuring with beka. later yall.

isn't it funny

2008-03-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

so, the story goes: i was just about to fall asleep tonight when i got a call from one of my best friends. tonight he was fired up from being home for two days and having some restoration time with Jesus. he's started reading "wild at heart" (which, if you are a boy, man, guy, whatever, and you haven't read this book, DO IT!!!) anyways, he's been reading "wild at heart" which basically talks about how guys, in their innermost being, were created to be MEN. and on a grander scale, to be MEN, DANGEROUS MEN of God. and i think as a people, God has called us all to be like that, ladies too. our 45 minute conversation could best be summed up like this:

What if, as Christians, we were known for the way we LOVE people. not for what we stand against. instead of making what's supposed to be a personal relationship with a pretty amazing God into a list of do's and don'ts, what if we just passionately fell in love with Jesus and let the rest fall into place. i think the writer of Hebrews said it better than i could, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and let us RUN THE RACE that has been marked out before us" and, not just that this is a verse about racing, which i love, but i think he makes a good point here. if you've ever been part of the racing scene...real, road, on your feet, one foot in front of another racing, you know that it's not just this passive event that you go out and do on a sunday afternoon. it is a real battle that goes on between your muscles and your body and your mind. you're pushing yourself to a whole new limit and beyond even that to a point where you literally feel like you're going to die. but you wouldn't dare give up because, as painful as it is, at the same time, it's the best feeling in the entire world and you would rather die than stop...
what if our relationship with Christ were like that??? what if i were so passionately in love with Jesus, that i would love my daily walk the same way i love to run. and even on the days where i just don't "feel like it," i do it anyways because i would rather die than go a day without spending time with my Savior. i think that if i devote myself whole-heartedly to falling in love with God, then everything else will fall into place...things such as not having a quiet time or not witnessing to my friends will become a moot point because if i am 100% devoted to my cause, i would automatically be doing these things. i think this is what Jesus was really trying to say in Matthew when he said "Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength...All the law and the prophets rest on these commandments."

the other thing i think the writer is trying to say is, although we are being watched, which we constantly are, the race we are running is a personal battle. we can't let others dictate to us how we feel or how our relationship with God should look like. all that we are called to do is run after God as best we can and trust Him to take care of the rest. if my God has called me to be a physical therapist, then dang it, i'm going to be the best darn PT that this world has ever seen, no matter what anyone else says. even if everyone else on the planet thinks i should be a missionary, teacher, or whatever. i would not "stoop to be a king" in the words of a good friend.

this life that my God has called me to is not some mamsy-pansy, flowers and rainbows type of lifestyle. it is a dangerous adventure, better than any plot that indiana jones would even dream about being a part of. and i can't wait to see where it takes me.

to top it all of, after i got off the phone, one of the better episodes from last year's 24 came on, so i'm going to go indulge myself in some way overdue quality time with jack bauer. i think that's enough to chew on tonight. night ya'll!

different perspectives...lessons from miley.

2007-12-03T12:20:00.001-08:00

i walked in the door, exhausted, threw my backpack on the floor and collapsed in a heap on my bed, not even bothering to take my jacket off or untie my shoes. somewhere in that place between asleep and awake, i heard her pad softly in, jump up and settle down next to me. she promptly closed her eyes and picked up where she left off on her nap. i lay there for a while, staring at her rhythmic breathing, barely making a sound, wondering "how can she be so peaceful? it must be nice, to not have a care in the world, the only decision needing to be made is to even bother chasing that squirrel one more time..." she looked so serene, the only movement was the steady up and down of her golden brown coat, and before i knew it, my eyes too, were becoming heavy...

i heard her come in, there was something different today. she didn't come straight to see me, just fell on the bed. somehow, i knew she was exhausted, so i walked softly in to investigate. i recognized that look on her face, it had been happening a lot lately... her brow was furrowed, there was wet stuff coming out of her eyes and her mouth was downturned. i just knew something was wrong. i jumped up on the bed and gave her a quick lick, letting her know that i was here and everything was going to be okay. i lay there quietly for a few minutes, then took advantage of the opportunity to fall asleep on my mistress' bed. i don't understand her sometimes. why is she so worried? doesn't she know that ultimately everything is under control? maybe if she had gotten to chase that squirrel with me today, she could know what it feels like to run and run, barking out loud just for the sake of being happy. oh i know humans have their own worries, but i think they concentrate on them too hard sometimes. there's just something about spontaneous afternoon naps on your mistress' bed that lets a girl know that everything is going to be okay...

just an idea

2007-09-23T10:56:00.000-07:00

i've come to the realzation as of late that life, as crazy, wonderful, dramatic, or whatever it is, is not just a smooth-sailing walk in the park. what makes life (or mine at least) even interesting is the quirky little ups and downs in the routine day-to-day. like the text message i got from amy that said "just wanted to remind you that i love you..." but then dropping a catch for a point during a frisbee game. or catching all the red lights on the way home from work, but having my favorite song come on the radio as i pull onto my street.

i think a lot of times people get so wrapped up in the big catastrophes that happen in their lives that they're constantly stressed out and trying to live from one big high to the next. what if we all stopped to appreciate those times when you get a good grade on a quiz and just learn to laugh at the times where you wear a pair of shoes that make your feet hurt...

just a thought...

the drink of the gods:

2007-08-11T07:25:00.000-07:00

i read this article this morning and it was all i could do not to shout "Amen!" out loud here at work. if you know me at all, you know my obsession with REAL sweet tea and my never-ending search for the perfect glass...

so for all of you who enjoy the good stuff as much as i do, read on:

I Wish I Lived in a Land of Lipton …What makes Southern sweet tea so special?
By Jeffrey Klineman Posted Wednesday, Aug. 8, 2007, at 1:06 PM ET
Cool and refreshing

"It's rough. It's been rough on that food. It's different eating here than it is at the house. Ain't got no sweet tea, and ain't got no fried chicken."—Boo Weekley, PGA golfer from Milton, Fla., interviewed by the BBC on Day 2 of the British Open, 7/20/2007

You can't blame Boo Weekley for not knowing—before last month, the man had never left North America. And there are some fairly major associations between Great Britain and tea. But poor Weekley had the same awful realization most of us have when we leave Dixie: When you order sweet tea, you probably aren't going to get it. And even if you're lucky enough to find something bearing its name, it's probably not quite the same.
Drinking sweet tea is one of the oldest and most exceptional Southern traditions. As Dolly Parton's character in Steel Magnolias puts it, it's the "house wine of the South"—a clear, orange-to-red tinted tea brewed from six or seven Lipton or Luzianne tea bags, poured hot onto a cup or more of sugar or a pool of simple syrup, and then diluted into a gallon pitcher in the fridge. It's served over a mound of ice in a huge glass—so cold that you can watch your napkin drown in a puddle of condensation.

By "sweet tea," we mean "sweet." As one food technologist told me, some of the sweetest glasses can hit 22 Brix of sugar. That means that 22 percent of the liquid consists of dissolved sugar solids, or, to put it in more meaningful terms: close to twice what you'd find in a can of Coke. Still, there's a balance to the flavor—the tea is brewed long and strong, so it gets an astringency that can only be countered by lots of the sweet stuff.
Southerners, of course, have a taste for sugar that is demonstrably stronger than what you find up North. We like our pecan pie and pralines sweet enough to make the dentist cringe. All of the major soda companies—the Coca-Cola Co., PepsiCo, Dr Pepper—started in the South. Bourbon, that sweetest of whiskies, is from Kentucky. A mint julep, that classic Southern cocktail, is basically a whiskey'd up sweet tea, with mint, ice, simple syrup, and booze.
One chef I spoke with—Scott Peacock, who spent eight years bunking and writing with the Grand Dame of Southern cooking, the late Edna Lewis—suggested that Dixie's taste for sweet may have evolved from the use of sugar as a preservative. Peacock's dad grew up in a small Alabama town where they didn't have much refined sugar. In towns like that, he said, they grew cane, milled it, and put it in jars. People anticipated the crystallization of the cane sugar with great excitement, eager to stir it into their tea.
Sugar worship might account for much of sweet tea's popularity, but I think its appeal lies in the ice. Southerners seem to have a particular fascination with ice. This may stem, most obviously, from the fact that the Southern climate is often steamier than a Rat Pack schvitz. In an early essay about Southern cuisine published by the American Philosophical Society called Hog Meat and Cornpone: Food Habits in the Ante-Bellum South, Sam Hilliard wrote that a container of cool—not even cold—water, pulled from a nearby spring, was a delicacy at the table. Tea was mostly a drink for the upper class, and early on, it was the rich who had access to the ice that came down on ships or in wagons, at least until icehouses were built in cities (Southern farmers had to wait for the arrival of the Model T). If ice was a luxury, then putting out a pitcher of ice-cold tea must have been quite a bit of hospitality. One historian, Joe Gray Taylor, wrote in Eating, Drinking, and Visiting in the South: An Informal History that the rural electrification—and, consequently, refrigeration—wrought by the Tennessee Valley Authority in the 1930s was "probably more appreciated for the ice cubes it provided … than for any of its other services."
Offering up a glass of sweet tea on a hot day in the South is as welcoming a gesture as passing the doobie at a Phish show. It's so ingrained in the Southern DNA—Marion Cabell Tyree included the recipe in a cookbook called Housekeeping in Old Virginia as early as 1879—that people now post videos online of their infants sampling the stuff. It's a frequent menu item for the condemned, as well as a centerpiece at church suppers. As an April Fools' Day prank in 2003, Georgia State Rep. John Noel introduced a bill that would have made it a misdemeanor for a restaurant owner not to include sweet tea on the menu. Most Southerners can easily tell the difference between fresh sweet tea and the stuff from concentrate—and unless their sugar jones is too strong that day, chances are they'll send the latter back.

oh, and just for the record...my perfect glass as of right now is Beacon Drive-In's original...

blessings...

2007-07-30T17:08:00.000-07:00

i just want to take a minute and brag on my students at manley. ever since we got back from camp...well, really before that- i've been noticing the beginning of change for a while now... they are really beginning to grasp all that God has called them too. listening to their prayers and watching them worship their Savior really blesses my heart. they are beginning to really have a heart for their lost friends and i really believe they want to see them come to Christ. i gave them a talk last week about keeping away from "spiritual highs and roller coasters" and i think it really made sense to some of them. i have a feeling that they are on the verge of breaking out and really becoming "soul'd out" for Christ.

i had my reservations about staying at home this summer, but it has been awesome being a part of God's work right here and discipling some awesome kids. keep them in your prayers cause God's about to do some awesome things in morristown...

Joshua 3:5-- "Sanctify yourselves today, for tomorrow the LORD will do great works among you."

miley

2007-06-10T13:55:00.000-07:00

so i decided that since i'm going to be a vet, then i better have an animal to practice on... insert miley (pronounced MIGH-lee), my beautiful new baby girl, 100% golden retriever and 100% the best dog ever! she's got this beautiful strawberry-blonde, feather-like fur that feels like down, no lie, and dark brown eyes that a girl could just get lost in.

she's only 6 weeks old, but i swear, she already has this little attitude that lets you know that she's gonna be a mess. her name is hawaiian for "joy" cause she can always make me smile. there are sometimes when we're playing and she just looks up at me and it's like she's reading my mind and then she just smiles. (yes, dogs smile).

being just a baby she sleeps A LOT, but when she's ready, she's gonna be the best running partner in the entire world. i hope she learns to love the trails as much as i do. but for now we're settling for the basics like, "no chewing/biting" and "pee OUTSIDE!" she's so smart, i'm sure she'll get the hang of things in no time at all.

on a totally different note, i'm in training again...this next triathlon is august 11 and i want to beat my time of an hour and 22 minutes. stay tuned for the continuing adventures of laura and miley!

i did it!!!!

2007-05-30T19:50:00.000-07:00

okay, so guess what??? I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AS OF MAY 28, I AM NOW CONSIDERED A TRIATHLETE! holy cow, that's so amazing! i was so nervous the night before, i hardly slept at all! rachel and i woke up at 5:30 (!), ate some oatmeal and headed out to the park...man, i was so so scared as we lined up and got ready to jump in the FREEZING COLD pool. i did great on the swim and was feeling so confident coming out of that leg...the on to the bike...(begin scary music now). brent passed me about that point...along with about 50 other people, but that's not what i was focusing on. it was that big ole huge hill that i had to climb!!! i honestly thought about throwing up as i was crawling up that hill, but i made it through. i freaked out a little when the guy in front of me wrecked...who wouldn't??? when i got back, the guy from the tri store was there to check people back in to the transition area, and i'm sure i had the biggest goofy smile on my face, just proud that the hard part was over. i took off running, having the time of my life. it was so encouraging; people i didn't even know were cheering me on, wanting me to perform at my best!!! the last part of the run was straight uphill and i was sure i was gonna cave except that i could hear everybody at the finish line around the corner...and my friend brad above it all yellin' "you better get here soon!" so i dug in for that last little part and finished in...well, i'm not sure of my time yet, it's not posted, but it was less than an hour and a half!!!!!!!! woo hoo goal met!!! i was so tired, i didn't even want to eat... but holy cow it was so much fun!!! training starts next week for the one in august!!! goal is an hour fifteen!!!

triathlon update 5/14/07

2007-05-14T19:18:00.000-07:00

swim: 1/2 mile (800 meters) i'm pretty confident with that...

bike: 10 miles!!! i did it!!!

run: 5 miles!!! all at once!!!

last carbonated beverage: over 6 weeks ago

holy cow it's almost here!!! two weeks from today!!! it's gone so well these past few days. i think i experienced a little runner's high the first time i ran my 5 miles...about half way through i got this kick of energy and i really felt like i could have kept on running just fine. the first time i biked my whole 10 miles i almost started laughing out loud cause my A.D.D. kicked in around mile 8. i got so bored looking at the pavement and the road ahead that seemed to never change. even having some music wasn't cuttin it. today i actually did a "brick" of back to back events so i could start seeing how that would feel. let me tell you my legs felt like rubber when i first started running and then after the first mile they just went numb. total milage moved was over 14 miles!!! dang girl! and to add to everything else, i'm eating healthy and dropping poundage like crazy! always a plus! i'm actually starting to look forward to my workouts now and i'm gonna keep pushing really hard this week. next week i'm gonna let up quite a bit and give my legs a good rest before the big day! rachel and i are having a sleepover the night before the race (such girls :D) and her momma's promised a huge pasta dinner. i'm really starting to get pumped; this time in two weeks i'll be considered a triathlete!!! stay tuned for more updates!

frisbee

2007-05-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

so there's this sport that i've discovered since coming to college. and personally, i think it's the best in the entire world. as soon as i decided on my school, my brother put me into "training" saying, "you're not going to go down there and not know how to throw a frisbee." and i've never looked back. i remember my first game of ultimate and i took a time out to stand there and think "holy cow, this is more fun than any human being should have." i remember lacing up my cleats for the first game out on the field. or the first time i caught a hammer in the endzone for the winning point. the first time we got to play in the football stadium underneath the lights. the first time i won an intramural t-shirt thanks to the game. the first time i completely laid out for a catch at the tournament--frisbee brought me all these great memories. and great friends. my team and i are thicker than theives and some of my closest friends.

one of the best feelings is being all muddy and scratched up after a game. i feel like i've actually worked hard when i'm bleeding or grass stained. there's just something about this game that makes my whole day better. disc golf, tossing with friends, and especially ultimate, they all put me in the best of moods. i could play ultimate all day, all night, barefoot or with my cleats and jersey, on the beach or at the gymnastics center; i love that game. where else can you find a sport that requires the endurance and agility of soccer, the toughness of football, the defensive skills of basketball, and the heart of a lion??? girls are as equal as guys out there and are usually the surprise scorers. even when we lose a game, it's not like i really lost, cause i got to play, and for me, that's enough. or when the game is "over" but we still keep playing because we just can't get enough. like the time we started a game mid afternoon and just kept playing til it was too dark to see, not even keeping score anymore, just playing the game.

possibly one of the best days ever was the tournament we had early this spring. we spent eight hours on the field doing what we all love...running as hard as we can up and down a field chasing a 175 gram piece of plastic. we didn't even win the tournament, but laying in bed that night, too exhausted to move with a sunburn on my face was one of the best feelings in the entire world. it really makes me sad that the season's over cause that means i'll have to wait until september to be reunited on that grassy field with my cleats digging in, diving for that catch.

triathlon update 4/23/07

2007-04-23T12:30:00.000-07:00

just a quick update on how the training is going:

run: 3 miles (5 kilometers)

swim: 1/2 mile (800 meters)

bike: 6 miles (10 kilometers)...still...gotta work on that

transition time: still havent' practiced that one...kinda
worried about it.

last carbonated drink: 4.5 weeks ago (not really a tri requirement,
but i'm still proud of that one)

the race is may 28 in alcoa, tn. i've gotten to the point where i can do my swim and run back to back, so that's a step! the bike is in the "shop" (aka brent's house) with a busted tube right now, so as soon as that gets fixed (and not with duct tape!) i'll be on the road again. keep me and my knees in your prayers! they're holding up so far, just a little sore after a long day. we're almost at the 30 day point, so i'm starting to get really excited!!!

and you thought i was random then...

2007-04-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

you know, it's a good thing that the Psalmist always jumped around a lot...one minute he was praising the LORD, exlaiming how awesome He is, and in the next chapter, he wonders why he feels like God has abandoned him...

boy do i know how he feels. earlier this week, i was so stressed out cause i couldn't see God at work and directing my future...but i kept persisting and crying out to my Savior, and you know what? it's been pretty darn amazing. i'm still not 100 percent sure about my future; i mean, who really is? but i'm okay with that. i can see my next step, and for now, that's good enough. elizabeth elliot once said "always do the next thing." so that's what i'm doing...first my zoo practical, then finals, then summer, one step at a time.

so i really just wanted to give an update and praise the LORD for this sense of peace and contentment.

by the way, we won our frisbee game today, 11-0, but lost soccer 0-1. guess that pretty much sums up this roller coaster ride.

since when do i have to be a grown up?

2007-04-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

man, i hate having to be a grown up. it was so much easier when the hardest decision i had to make was what i wanted to go with my peanut butter sandwich or what game to play at recess. the future seemed so far away, it was okay to have just vague dreams. now i know there's no question that i'm possibly the world's most indecisive person, but why is it that every time there comes a point for me to make a decision about my future, i turn into a wimp?? no, seriously, i almost have a panic attack each time i think about what i'm going to do for the rest of my life, or for right now, even next year... why does decision making have to be so hard, anyways? i know my God is not a God of confusion and He doesn't want to see me struggle with indecision, but i feel so lost all the time. why can't i have the faith of abraham, who was content with just knowing that he was supposed to go...not all the details were there, but he still went. and ruth too...she followed her mother-in-law without question and that led her to amazing blessings. it seems so unfair that both these guys had such great faith to not question the road they were traveling.

i think that's what i'm scared of the most--missing out on an amazing blessing from God. now i know that He is going to work through me no matter what i do and He will receive glory through it all, but i want God's best for me, His very best and i want to be a part of the work that He is doing. it's okay to have that kind of faith, blind and trusting, but what happens when the time comes to make a decision and you're still unsure??? i can say, Oh i'm trusting God, but the time will come when i have to fill out an application and as far as i know, God still hasn't said anything...then what??? it's so frustrating...and then i get frustrated at myself for being frustrated and having this crisis of faith and NOT being so trusting. good grief, it's like a never-ending cycle. i think there are times when i'm so jealous of those who are called to the ministry or the mission field, because at least they know what they will be doing.
God and i made a deal a while back, that is if you can make deals with God, and i told Him that i would keep going forward until He said stop...but how do i know when He's saying stop? i can't analyze every situation and every little event in my life and try to read it as a "sign." when i was little, i used to ask God to make it snow if He was saying "yes" to a particular prayer of mine. man, how i wish He still spoke through burning bushes or handwritings on the wall...
i know that i need to be in the Word to hear my God speak, i mean, that IS God speaking, but i'm pretty sure i'm not going to find it scripted out saying "Laura, you need to major in this, marry this man, and do this for the rest of your life...." but then again, where's the adventure in that?
so right now i'm praying Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." and i'll be praying that all night until i make my decisions in the morning.

a milestone in my life

2007-03-30T19:51:00.000-07:00

holy cow, what a day! wait, let me back up a few years and tell a story first:
when i was 16 i went mountain biking at a local park. 2 hours later i was taking my first ambulence ride to the nearest hospital where i would spend the next 3 days while they put my knee back together...2 surguries, 84 stitches, and a 7 inch scar later, after 2 months on crutches and 6 weeks of physical therapy, i was walking again...and vowing that i would never EVER ride a bike again...
so fast forward almost exactly 3 years later... i had a long talk with my dad and i decided to start training for a triathlon. i thought i would put off the biking part as long as possible...a certain someone had a different idea however. so today after i went and picked out tires to convert my mountain bike into an okay road bike, my buddy brent told me that "that day is today." at first i was like, NO WAY! there was no way i was ready to ride yet...but that's why brent's my coach...he doesn't take excuses like that. so while brent was taking a warm up ride, i had a long conversation with myself and this bike of mine...it was like a showdown at noon in the OK Corral. could i really trust this thing again? i know you're thinking i'm crazy cause i was sittin there having a conversation with an inanimate object, but this was a huge thing for me... so i got on the bike and sat a while...it felt okay...then i started walking around with it and then i just took a huge deep breath and let go...it was like i was 7 all over again, just learning how to ride for the first time... and there i was, learning the true meaning of the expression "just like riding a bike..."
first milestone covered...i could handle the flat parking lot pretty well...so when brent got back, i had no choice but to follow him out onto the road...tentative at first, then doing pretty well... then we came to the first hill...up no problem, my knees were burning a little, but hey, i just got released from the doctor from another knee injury (later story) yesterday...then the huge leap of faith--the first downhill--needless to say, i rode my brakes all the way and crawled down that hill as slow as i could...no good, you can't do well in a triathlon that way (as i was told). so we came to our last downhill...and i was told to not use my brakes all the way down. and can i just say that this was no baby hill! it was huge, across railroad tracks, onto a major road... i was super scared, but determined to make it, so i just pushed off and let go...how amazing it felt to feel that wind in my face and know that i had finally conquered that ghost that's been haunting me for 3 years...
all in all we rode about 5 miles...10 short of where i need to be by august, but it was a start! a huge breakthrough...i really feel like i can do anything right about now! if you're thinking right about now "girl, you're crazy...it's just a bike!" well, then that's your perrogative, but i feel like a free woman right about now!!! praise the LORD!

i think i'm going crazy

2007-03-20T02:06:00.000-07:00

so just for the record, it's 1:47 am and i'm awake...this is a pretty big thing considering i'm a college student that's usually in bed by 12:30...and i'm not even really tired...for some reason i can't sleep and for some reason my eyes are leaking...not really crying. i don't even have a real good reason to cry and i'm not one of thos emotional girls that cry just for the sake of crying...it's like my inside is just full so the most natural place to release all this just happens to be through my eyes...i'm not especially sad or happy...just wondering what i'm doing awake at 1:49 am...

on a totally different note, i'm in the middle of reading right now that has actually made me think. it is this kind of crazy book zen and the art of motorcycle maitenance... a combination of this old guy's narrative about a cross country bike trip and his thoughts on philosophy and other stuff...really introspective and not what i normally read, but it's pretty interesting. so i was laying outside in the grass reading this book *an appropriate place, i thought, to read such a book* and i just stopped and watched the world go by for a while. not really watching the clouds, looking for shapes like i did when i was a kid, but just looking...and as i kept staring i was certain that if i looked hard enough, i could see right through the clouds and the atmosphere and see the stars on the other side that are out there in the cosmos. and if i was really still for long enough i could almost feel the earth tilting on its axis and feel myself spinning along...almost made me physically dizzy. and if i really concentrated hard enough, not only could i smell the rain about to come in on the clouds, but smell the blue of the sky, the richness of the earth, smell the green of the grass... and be a part of the whole world that is just waiting to bust out of its skin into spring time. it was such a macrocosmic feeling....

but who knows? i'm pretty sure i'm going crazy...i mean, it's 2:05 AM and i'm still lying here and i'm still not sleepy, but that feeling of being swept away and totally out of myself is something i've been trying to get back ever since...

I'M IN LOVE!

2007-03-10T19:20:00.000-08:00

so i actually wrote this earlier, but it still applies....

He loves me!
He knows everything about me, he knows my favorite color, favorite flower, favorite foods. He knows how much I love gummy bears- the ones that come in the gold package - and yellow gatorade. He paints pictures for me every morning and makes sure that i see them everyday. He always has my favorite flowers ready on no occasions at all. He pursued me passionately until i said "yes" and surrendered to his love. I never doubt his love for me. He wakes me up gently when i fall asleep in his arms. He wrote me the longest love letter in the entire world and I read it everyday. He's the last person i talk to before i go to sleep and the first one i think of when i wake up. When i fall asleep when i'm with him, he just holds me and sings over me. He loves my friends too--major bonus points!! He tells me all the time how much he loves me and how much he wants to be with me. Whenever i've had a crappy day, he knows exactly what to do to make me feel better. When i ask him to do something, he always does what is in my best interest. We pray together and share in those intimate moments of worship together. Sometimes, when we're together, neither of us say a word, we just sit in silence and are amazed in our love. He laughs at me all the time, but always in the kindest way. He is always at every sports game i'm in and he's my biggest fan. Sometimes i treat him like crap, but he just wraps me up in his arms and tells me he loves me anyways. I am so amazingly in love with him and want to spend forever with him!!! He's absolutely perfect! He's the most understanding, most passionate, most sincere, most amazing being ever!!!
AND I LOVE HIM BACK!

THIS IS MY JESUS! My God, My Savior, is this passionately in love with me. He's the only one who can love me like this! He wants to be my everything and won't stop loving me ever ever!!!

happily ever after?

2007-03-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

so i drove back home from atlanta today and that gave me a while to think...which in my case may be a dangerous thing when operating a vehicle :) but i digress...
i was thinking about the movie i had watched the night before. your typical girlie movie, that my sister promptly commented on as soon as the credits rolled, "aww, they lived happily ever after!" and my first thought in response surprised me. "you don't know that for sure..." my next thought that followed was, "when did i become so cynical?" i distinctly remember a time when i was 6 watching aladdin and jasmine fly into the sunset and sighing knowing that they would live "happily ever after." experience has shown me, however that just because that's where the story ends doesn't mean that it was bliss from there on out...and i guess that's part of growing up, but when did i become a grown up??? what happened to my childlike faith in fairy tales and a prince charming of my very own? surely there was a turning point in my past years that happily ever after just stopped applying to situations. and personally, i don't think i like it too much, to be perfectly honest. i think childlike faith in our "happily ever afters" is an important thing to have...it's one of those things that gives us hope when life is going crappy.
so, i'm not sure what to do with this cynicism...i mean, i've just realized this after all...but i'd like to get back to the place where my imagination is free to well...imagine...another "happily ever after."